Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Year, New Start

A lot has gone on since Christmas. I only had a tiny bit of spotting for 3 days. The whole amount wasn't even enough to fill one pad. So I finally talked with my doctor yesterday and I got a blood test done today. I should know by Monday if I am pregnant or not. I have had several BFN on HPT. But Alex and I talked again about the infertility program and Alex said we can do it!! So I will be speaking with someone tomorrow and getting the ball rolling for that. It's going to be a great start of the new year!!!

Thank you for reading!!!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Holidays

I believe AF has arrived. I had a tiny bit of spotting last night. And had some spotting all day today. Now I am having a little bit more spotting :( I was going to test again tomorrow morning, but now that I have more bleeding, I don't really want to now. Oh well I suppose. Maybe we will have a New Years baby ;)

Thanks for reading!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Hello My Name Is....

I wrote this for one of my TTC groups online and I wanted to share it here, since I have never really wrote out that great of a formal introduction into our lives (besides my very first post, but lots has happened since then). So here goes...

I'm Hannah. I'm 21 and married to Alex, the man of my dreams ♥ He is almost 23. We have been together 5 years, married for almost 3 years. We always talked about having kids and we wanted to wait a year after we got married. So we started trying in January 2009. When we started TTC, we never thought we would have problems. I first got pregnant in June 2009, but had emergency surgery for an ectopic. My left tube is now completely blocked. We started trying again right away (well, when the drs gave the ok) and didn't conceive again until July 2010. I figured once I got pregnant, and the baby was in the right place, I wouldn't have anymore problems. I was wrong. I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. We started TTC again right away. AF was due a few days ago, so I am 3 days late right now. I doubt I am pregnant this cycle... I am really starting to loose hope. Its been almost two years, and we have nothing to show for all that we have been through except a lot of medical bills, let downs, and heartache. I have been told I am strong and very positive, but I don't feel it most days :( Why us? I am so young! How is life fair?! That's what I think about most days... But I plaster a smile on my face, and put up a wall so no one can see how I really feel inside. A few weeks ago I was at the darkest point in my life. I didn't leave the house, I didn't do anything with anyone. I was seriously thinking about packing my bags and moving as far away as I could. But I realized running away from my problems isn't going to solve anything. And even though I am not fully myself again (I don't think I will be myself and happy-go-lucky until I have my little one in my arms, and he/she is healthy and safe), I am doing better with accepting my infertility.

Monday, December 20, 2010

So Close to Christmas

All I want for Christmas is a BFP!!!

I tested this morning and another BFN :( I am just hoping my period isn't 3 weeks late like the last cycle. CD 32 and no signs or symptoms of pregnancy or AF. So who knows!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Whole Lot of Nothing

Since I know that AF is supposed to arrive today, and I got my slight positive in July on the day I was supposed to get my period, I decided to take a test. And, to no one's surprise, it was negative. The other thing is, I have no symptoms that I usually get when my cycle is about to start. So I think my period is going to be late again this month. I just hope I don't get it on Christmas!! That would really suck.

Thank you everyone for the kind words of support :) And thank you for reading!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Four More Days

Only four more days until AF is supposed to arrive. I have a feeling she might actually come early this cycle though. I have been having some cramps yesterday and today. So until then, I am still waiting... Haha!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Wonderful, but Sad

This blog post is definitely how I feel most days. Couldn't have said it better myself!!

And although I haven't lost all my friends (I still have a couple who I can't thank enough for sticking with me!!!), I can relate to people basically telling me to suck it up and get over it...

Waiting, Waiting

I can't stand the TTW! It seems like time slows down and it just takes forever to get here. Although I am excited to get to December 15th, I am pretty sure I am not pregnant. I think the little bit of spotting was a fluke. Plus we didn't stick to the plan I had, so we most likely missed ovulation. Oh well, maybe next month. I have been waiting this long, whats one more month...

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

December Already!

I just can't believe that it is December already! Soon we will be in 2011. I am still hoping and praying for a 2011 baby. I know that we only have a couple of months left until that dream vanishes, but it may still be a possibility.

No new updates so far with me. I wont know anything for sure until December 15th or 17th. That's when my next cycle is due. Still trying not to get my hopes up too much with this cycle.

Thanks for reading!