Hello My Name Is....

I wrote this for one of my TTC groups online and I wanted to share it here, since I have never really wrote out that great of a formal introduction into our lives (besides my very first post, but lots has happened since then). So here goes...

I'm Hannah. I'm 21 and married to Alex, the man of my dreams ♥ He is almost 23. We have been together 5 years, married for almost 3 years. We always talked about having kids and we wanted to wait a year after we got married. So we started trying in January 2009. When we started TTC, we never thought we would have problems. I first got pregnant in June 2009, but had emergency surgery for an ectopic. My left tube is now completely blocked. We started trying again right away (well, when the drs gave the ok) and didn't conceive again until July 2010. I figured once I got pregnant, and the baby was in the right place, I wouldn't have anymore problems. I was wrong. I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. We started TTC again right away. AF was due a few days ago, so I am 3 days late right now. I doubt I am pregnant this cycle... I am really starting to loose hope. Its been almost two years, and we have nothing to show for all that we have been through except a lot of medical bills, let downs, and heartache. I have been told I am strong and very positive, but I don't feel it most days :( Why us? I am so young! How is life fair?! That's what I think about most days... But I plaster a smile on my face, and put up a wall so no one can see how I really feel inside. A few weeks ago I was at the darkest point in my life. I didn't leave the house, I didn't do anything with anyone. I was seriously thinking about packing my bags and moving as far away as I could. But I realized running away from my problems isn't going to solve anything. And even though I am not fully myself again (I don't think I will be myself and happy-go-lucky until I have my little one in my arms, and he/she is healthy and safe), I am doing better with accepting my infertility.