Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... That is all I seem to be doing now days. Alex and I have decided that if this cycle doesn't work, we are going to stop trying for a few months and I will be starting a diet plan and hitting the gym to loose some weight. Then late this winter/early spring we are going to do IUI. We both feel this is a necessary step and we are looking forward to it. I just can't grasp that after almost three years we have nothing to show for all the trying... It sucks. Plain and simple. There is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, there is nothing that anyone can do to make it ok. The only way to hold onto the little sanity I have left is to work or surf the internet. Even then it doesn't always combat the thoughts of babies running through my head. Uhg..
Its a cold and drizzily day here for my birthday. But that's ok :-) I am officially 22. That is so crazy! Nothing to look forward to now until 25, and then insurance rates drop! Woohoo! ;-) I hope everyone has a fantastic Friday!!
I just got home from spending time with my niece and nephews for their combined birthday party. Laylla is 4, Brycen will be 3 in December, and Phelix will be one in March.
I have a lot on my mind right now, so I may or may not be posting as often for a little while. Everything is ok, I am just trying to figure out what will be the best for Alex and I to do next... Thank you for your understanding.
I am going to be 22 in a week. I always thought I would have been a mom at 19. Then when I hit 19, I told myself, well I will definitely have one by 21. Well that has come and gone too. I have given up on trying to predict when I will have a baby, because obviously my body hates me. :-P
I have been out of high school 5 years next May.. Alex and I have been together for six years in January, and four years married in April. It all seems so surreal... I feel like life is passing me by...
I got a call this morning and heard the best news I have heard in a while. Alex's semen analysis showed that his levels are good, and some even better than normal! The only thing he said is a little off is that it is a little bit thicker than normal, but he said that you shouldn't even have to worry about that! I am on cloud nine :-) Its good to know that everything with him is ok!!!
"Life is only what you make it to be. Forgive, but never forget; you won't learn from your mistakes otherwise. If you are pissed off, let it go. If you are sad, do something to change it. If you are happy all the time, then you are obviously doing something right." -HLA
I'm very grateful. I have an amazing husband that would do anything for me (and I would do anything for him) and loves me for ME; I don't have to be someone that I'm not ♥ Plus I have amazing friends and family :) My life is wonderful.
I spoke with my OB yesterday and we are starting the 3rd round of Clomid. This round is 100mg like the last one and if it doesn't work, then I get testing done...
I decided to finally give in to the OB's request of having Alex do a semen analysis. He wanted it done before I started the first round of Clomid, but I have been putting it off. But seeing that I have been ovulating, and nothing is happening, I think it is time for it to be done. We are doing it on Monday and will have the results late next week. I am super nervous about it... But I guess it is better to know than be stuck in the dark. If it comes back as bad results, then the next step is probably IUI to give a better chance of sperm reaching egg, or IVF. I know I am NOT ready for IVF, and neither is our bank account. This sucks... :-(
Good ol' AF showed this morning, exactly when she was supposed to. I guess that is the plus side of things. At least I don't have to wait around testing and guessing if I am pregnant or not. I will know now (or while on Clomid anyways) that she will be on time or I am pregnant.
On a side note, I REALLY wish she would leave all her baggage and C-Ramps at home when she comes to visit :(
We bought our house almost two years ago (October 31st, 2009). We have two reliable cars (Alex's 1994 Jeep Wrangler and my 2009 Ford Focus) that we LOVE!! We have the sweetest, most loyal and loving dogs (Shelby, Harvey and Chester). We have amazing friends and family. We may not have much money, but we have LOTS of fun together!
Our love has never been deeper and it grows stronger everyday. What more could we ask for? I am blessed, and I sadly look over what we are lucky to have most days. In an attempt to become a mother, I have forgotten what I already have. I am going to work more on letting go, as I have been lately. I am going to take everything day by day; breathe in the crisp fall air deeply, and sigh happily just to be alive.