Thursday, April 29, 2010

Can't Wait Until the Weekend!

Yesterday was an ok day. I got to talk with my dad and step-mom for a little bit. She was telling me that it could still be a possibility that I am pregnant, but don't worry and fret over it and just treat the spotting as a regular period and go on with life like normal. And to not test until next month when I am supposed to get my next period. But only if I miss or something.... So I don't know. Its hard not to think about and I am trying really hard not to stress over it. Today is my last really long day this week. Tomorrow I don't have to be in until 10:30am.

Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Terrible Tuesday

Gah!!! One of the worst days in a long time!!! This week is just not going good for me at all!!! I feel like I am loosing more and more patience everyday! Not writing a lot today because I really don't feel like it.

Good night

Monday, April 26, 2010

Monday Madness

Title speaks for itself! The kids at daycare were crazy today and I have had a major headache all day! I come home from work and start doing the dishes and the pipe under the sink breaks so I can't even do our dirty dishes right now!! Still haven't found out if I am pregnant or not. I would call my doctor but she would want me to come in for a blood test and that's not in the money book right now... Especially since we have to fix the kitchen sink! Kids are having a "Spring Fling" music show tomorrow night for the parents and I don't have anything to wear that is dressy enough... Alex wants to have a new roommate, and we found someone, but I don't think I want another roommate. I want to be able to be by ourselves in the house and live as a married couple and be able to do whatever we want to without having to worry about someone being here when we aren't or something going missing... And I don't want to have to worry about being quite during the day (because she works nights) and I like it just being us!!! But he sees it as extra income, which yeah, its nice, but when we have extra energy bill and extra water bill, the "extra income" really doesn't amount to much. And it really isn't worth the worry to me. He told me to stop worrying and relax; I can't, I am a chronic worrier. I will probably have an ulcer by 22 (my dad did too, that's where I get it from). *sigh* I want it to just be us...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Weekend Planner

Today Alex and I are going to visit a little place along the Mississippi River and check out the bed and breakfasts to find one we like for a weekend getaway soon. We were going to get up really early this morning and have the weekend getaway be this weekend, but since its raining, it wouldn't be very fun!!! The in-laws are taking our fur babies, Shelby and Chester, and we are taking out other fur baby, Harvey, with us.

Well its time to go! Thanks for reading!!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Looking Ahead

Ok, I took a test this morning. Another big fat negative. So I think it is safe for me to say that this is just an off cycle and I am definitely not pregnant. And really only time will tell anyways! BLAH!!! I just wish I could know one way or the other without having to go to the Dr. and getting a blood test done. If this is an off cycle, I really hate my body for doing this to me!!! But hey, it will give me a chance to conceive this month! :)

Well, off to work I go!!!

Thanks for reading!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I Dont Know What to Think!!!

TMI! If you have a weak stomach, don't read!

This period is one of the weirdest I have ever had. It started Tuesday at 1am and I normally have REALLY bad cramps the first two days but the only bad cramps were the ones that woke me up Tuesday morning. And I normally have a VERY heavy period the first couple days and it has like a brownish tint and it has clots most of the time. It was a steady, but not heavy flow and I have only had one clot at the very beginning and its a bright red color. And now it has basically stopped! Normally my periods last 4-6 days and are heavy flow throughout! I don't know whats going on. But I figured I cant be pregnant.

Help! Hahaha!!! I am losing my mind!!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A New Page

I have decided that I am giving up trying; no more BBT charting, no more nothing! Just live and have fun and do the deed whenever the hell we feel like! I think the planning and the trying is stressing my body out and I can't force myself to do it anymore. And I know that people are always telling me, "Stop 'trying' and it will happen." So I guess I am following the curve of ladies that have had it happen that way. Have also been hearing, "It will happen when you least expect it to." Really? I hope so! lol. We are not going to try Clomid this cycle. We are going to give it one more round, maybe more. Who knows! Hahaha! We are going to play things by ear and hope for the best!

As always, thanks for reading!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Welcome Wagon

Aunt flow showed up for her visit this morning and she was MAD as hell! Woke me up at 1am with extremely bad cramps. So I took an Alieve (which I have never tried for cramps before) and it worked. I was surprised! Am I disappointed I am not pregnant, yes. But I am looking forward to hopefully getting on Clomid soon to start the process. I guess we are not going to be having a 2010 baby :( But this month would be the same time that I got pregnant last year, so maybe a little of that luck will rub off on me and we will have a January baby!

That's all for now and thanks for reading :)

Monday, April 19, 2010

Hmmm...

Well, still no sign of my monthly gift. But I checked my cervix and its lower and softer. So I am pretty sure my monthly gift will be showing up by Thursday... :(

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Day's End

Well, still no sign of aunt flow. I checked my cervix position and its been the same all day; high and hard, but kind of soft too. Like if you wrap a rock in a washcloth, you can still feel the hard rock, but there is the soft, squishy part around it. It that makes any sense. Hahaha. And I looked up what it normally is in early pregnancy and that's what I have read that it normally feels like. But again, I am trying not to get myself too excited. I had some more cramps a little bit ago too... This sucks! And I am out of pregnancy tests, so that's out for tomorrow.

Good night all and thanks for reading!

Today's the Day

Well, I am supposed to get a visit from aunt flow today! The only thing that is indicating that she might come is my boobs are sore. My right one actually feels heavier, like full or something. I don't know how to describe it really. I'm trying no to set my hopes up too high, but I just keep having this feeling that I AM pregnant! I'm hoping that its true! Last nigh I kind of felt like I was constipated, like I had to go, but I couldn't. Along with that my stomach hurt, like it was bloated with air. And I was gassy. Hahaha!!! I hate myself for analyzing every little thing going on with my body right now, but I can't help it! But I am feeling crampy today too :( So I am pretty sure I'm not pregnant.

Well, I will be sure to keep everyone who reads informed! Thanks for reading!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Getting My Hopes Up

So I took a pregnancy test this morning... I guess I thought it would be a different outcome and I got my hopes up so high! But there, staring me in the face was a big fat negative. But then again, I haven't missed a period yet, so who knows. But I think because of the cramps yesterday and some that I had this morning, I am pretty sure that my period will be paying me a visit in the next couple of days :(

At least we have things to look forward to! Having a bon fire tonight out at the family farm. I am taking a friend, well more of a little sister, senior pictures today. And if aunt flow does come soon, then we are going to be calling my OBGYN to try to get on Clomid. But first we have to get Alex tested... Hopefully we will get pregnant that way.

That's all for now! Thanks for reading.

Friday, April 16, 2010

So Confused!

So with me thinking I am pregnant, I was going to take a pregnancy test this morning. But when I woke up, I had to pee so bad, that I didn't have the time to open the box to test!!! Bahahaha!!!!!!

This afternoon at work I started to feel cramps, like they didn't hurt, but I could tell they were there. And I have been REALLY gassy lately! Sorry, I know its embarrassing, but just thought I would add that to the *possible* symptoms... I really hope I am!!!

Our neighbors are having a party tonight, and the guy that's living with us came in and said he had to park down the street because someone was parked in his spot in OUR driveway!!! Alex and I walked outside and the woman was sitting in her vehicle and we told her she was going to have to move her car. She got all defensive and asked why she had to move. Uhhhh, really?! We told her she was parked in OUR personal property and if she didn't move, we were going to call a tow truck. She got really pissed and asked where we suggest her park. Are you kidding me lady?!!!! I don't give a damn where the hell you park, just get your lazy ass out of our driveway and learn to walk from down the street!!!! GEEZZZ!!!!! People now days have no common sense and no respect for others!!!

Sorry, had a little rant :) I am planning on testing tomorrow morning. And I WILL test this time!!!!!

Thank you for reading and have a good night!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Am I....Pregnant?

Ok, so maybe I am reading into this too much, but I have a lot of weird things going on right now... I have dry lips (but I do need to be drinking a little more water I suppose) that started Sunday, I have a stuffy congested nose (I've had since Saturday night and I don't actually feel sick), I was EXTREMELY tired Sunday (but I didn't sleep very good Sat. night either), also on Sunday I had really loud, weird gurgling coming from my stomach/lower abdomen area (and TMI but I didn't burp or toot (or have the need to poop for that matter) until Monday afternoon), Tuesday I felt sort of bloated, but my stomach, not uterus, we all know what happened yesterday (if you have been reading my posts), I felt hot yesterday and today, yesterday (really TMI so if you have a weak stomach, don't read!!!!) I literally pooped water.

I tried to take a pregnancy test this morning and it was a dud!!! Not even the control line showed up!!! And I feel bloated again today and have no appetite. We went to McD's and I got a Southern Style Chicken Sandwich (which I LOVE!!!) and I ate half of it..... I don't know whats going on. I'm so confused! CD1 was March 21st. So I supposedly ovulated on April 3rd or 4th (but I average a 32 day cycle, so that is based off a 28 day cycle) I fell off the wagon for BBT charting, so I have no idea what my temps have been for about a week. I am supposed to get AF on the 18th (if I had a 28 day cycle) but I am guesstimated it to supposed to be here on the 22nd.

I used an ovulation predictor and it said based on a 32 day cycle, my fertile days were April 4th to April 8th. I don't want to get all excited and be reading into it too much. I don't know what to do!!! I think I may try testing again tomorrow...

I guess I will keep everyone posted!

Thanks for reading :)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Feeling a little better

Well, I made it through work today. Only almost puked several times, it wasn't too bad. Hahaha!!! Tomorrow is a LONG day and if I feel anything like I felt today, I am NOT going in...

In other areas of my life, I have left poor Alex on the curb in the love area lately. With being sick and so busy, we haven't really had time for intimacy. Its been probably a week and a half to two weeks! I feel bad. But I promised him as soon as I feel better things will go back to normal!

That's all for today. Thank you for reading!

Ugh...

So my dream woke me up this morning at 3AM because I was going to puke. Turns out, I was just as nauseous when I woke up as I was in the dream. I tried to steady myself, but failed miserably and managed to toss my cookies into the bathroom toilet. I kept thinking, "Why would I just all of a sudden be puking?" I also added a thought that I could be pregnant! But then I remembered one very key detail... I work at a daycare and I pick up the bugs and viruses the kids have all the time. DAMN!

So, I went back to sleep and at 8AM my boss called Alex (who was sleeping on the couch because he didn't want to get puked on. Hahaha!) and so he came in and woke me up and told me to call her. I picked up my phone (which is on silent at night) and I had two missed calls and two new voicemail. Figures... So I call my boss back and she wanted me to come in early this morning because they are down two staff at work already. But she said that Alex told her I was puking all night and so just to come in at my scheduled time, 11AM. Well no big deal to me, until I started feeling sick again recently, actually as I am typing. I know they need me, but I am feeling crappy and really don't know if I will be able to make it through work... We will see I guess!!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Getting Out of the Baby Blues

Hello all!

This is my first post, but not my first wave of "baby blues." So, here is the scoop:

It all started when my husband and I got married on April 5th, 2008. We wanted to start to try to conceive right away, but thought better of it as we were not financially stable yet. In January of 2009 we decided that it was time to start trying!!! We were so excited and figured it wouldn't be long before we had a little bun in the oven! After a few months of trying, I got so discouraged and depressed after hearing of friends becoming pregnant with ease! We stopped trying and more or less just had fun and lived our lives. On June 6th, 2009 after having a very wacky period (started and was a week like normal, stopped, started again two days later) I took a pregnancy test. IT WAS POSITIVE!!! We were ecstatic and couldn't believe that it had finally happened!!! The following Monday, June 8th 2009 I set up a prenatal visit and got in right away because I was worried about the bleeding. The OBGYN did an ultrasound and found nothing. I was told either 1) I was so early in pregnancy that it could not be seen 2) I was miscarrying or 3) it was an ectopic pregnancy. We were DEVASTATED! I went back to work the following day and the bleeding had stopped. I started to become a little optimistic until I had really sharp cramps in the left side of my lower abdomen. I went home and stayed on bed rest, which was the only thing that seemed to help the pain. June 11th 2009 at 1AM I woke up with pain so sharp I could barely breathe. My husband drove me to the ER and after another ultrasound, and blood work, I was told I had an ectopic pregnancy and I needed to have surgery to remove it. By 5AM I was in the OR. I was 8 weeks along...

Recently we have decided to start trying again. I gave my body six months to rest and recover from all of what had happened. We started trying again in January 2010. Again we are having trouble conceiving and I am hoping for the best but I am worried that my because my left tube is blocked, that I wont be able to become pregnant because of the what-ifs. What if I am only ovulating from my left ovary? What if this, what if that? I can't seem to relax.

After these few months of not being able to produce a positive pregnancy test, I feel sort of... broken in a way. My husband gets disappointed every time my lovely monthly gift shows up too. I was two weeks late in February and I thought I was FOR SURE pregnant, so that was a killer to my optimism. But we have something to really look forward to if mother nature shows her face in a week or two! We have decided to get my husband tested and talk with my OBGYN about me possibly getting on Clomid. I have heard so many success stories about this medication that I can't wait to talk with her about it and have the chance of being on it to start our family. But I have also been researching all-natural ways to conceive and have come up with a lot of very helpful information, but none that has worked so far for me. It may have worked for other women, but I'm not lucky enough for it to happen for me.

I hopeful, I am trying my best to be patient, and I am grateful for what I have in my life.

All the best, and thank you for reading!