"TGIF"- Worker 1
"No, SHIT!" -Worker 2
"What is wrong with you?!" -W1
"Sorry Honey, It's Thrusday." -W2
That is how I am feeling right now. Tomorrow can't come soon enough!!!!!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Love This....
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they sometimes are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be much better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or because I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
~Unknown
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or because I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
~Unknown
Monday, July 4, 2011
Happy 4th of July!
I think the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays! It has such an amazing history behind it and plus, what other day do you get to play with fire and blow stuff up?! Well, that is the way Alex sees it anyway. Hahaha! I love watching fireworks and thinking about how our country has grown and developed over the centuries. I sometimes wonder what they would think if they saw us now. Cars, planes, electricity, phones, TV; you name it, they would probably be shocked! Not to mention the clothes we dress in now. Phahahaha!!!
Anyways! I hope everyone has a great family celebration and be safe tonight!
Anyways! I hope everyone has a great family celebration and be safe tonight!
Yep...
I tested this morning with a pink dye test and it was a BFN. So yesterday's test line was definitely an evap line.
Still mad that AF has not showed.... Having some more cramps today like the last couple of days. So maybe that is a good sign that she will show today? *crosses fingers*
I just really don't want to get a blood pregnancy test on Wednesday when I HIGHLY doubt I am pregnant.
Still mad that AF has not showed.... Having some more cramps today like the last couple of days. So maybe that is a good sign that she will show today? *crosses fingers*
I just really don't want to get a blood pregnancy test on Wednesday when I HIGHLY doubt I am pregnant.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Test
One year ago today I got my BFP! I can't believe it has already been that long.
With everything going on, I decided to test this morning using a digital test kit thing. I can't get the reader to work right, so all I have is the test strip.
I HATE blue dye tests with a passion, and it is because you can get an evaporation line that makes it look positive. Here is my test:
I don't know if you can see it that well in the picture, but I can see it when I look at the test. This showed up within the 10 minute time frame. But I am thinking that it is just an evaporation line.. I will be testing again in two days just to be sure.
Edit- Here is the test now (4pm- six hours after originally taken)
Like I said before, it is much easier to see in person than the camera is showing. Still not sure if it is just an evaporation line or a very faint positive.
With everything going on, I decided to test this morning using a digital test kit thing. I can't get the reader to work right, so all I have is the test strip.
I HATE blue dye tests with a passion, and it is because you can get an evaporation line that makes it look positive. Here is my test:
I don't know if you can see it that well in the picture, but I can see it when I look at the test. This showed up within the 10 minute time frame. But I am thinking that it is just an evaporation line.. I will be testing again in two days just to be sure.
Edit- Here is the test now (4pm- six hours after originally taken)
Like I said before, it is much easier to see in person than the camera is showing. Still not sure if it is just an evaporation line or a very faint positive.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Awesome Movie!
Alex and I went to see the new Transformers tonight. It was freaking AWESOME! I can't wait until it comes out on DVD so we can buy it. Phahaha!!
I talked to my OB today and he told me that he really feels that I should get AF this weekend. He said that if I don't have it by Wednesday, that I need to take a blood pregnancy test. I bought some HPT's and I am going to take one in the morning... I also asked him about if I were pregnant, what the Provera would do to the baby (I read some articles stating that it caused birth defects). He said that all Provera is, is a synthetic progesterone and it would actually help if I was pregnant because you need high levels of it in early pregnancy. I had to take some last summer when I was pregnant, so that made me feel a little better. I don't know how I feel about everything right now. I am confused and frustrated.... I guess we will see what the test looks like in the morning. Or I may wait until Sunday to test... Not sure yet.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July!!! :)
I talked to my OB today and he told me that he really feels that I should get AF this weekend. He said that if I don't have it by Wednesday, that I need to take a blood pregnancy test. I bought some HPT's and I am going to take one in the morning... I also asked him about if I were pregnant, what the Provera would do to the baby (I read some articles stating that it caused birth defects). He said that all Provera is, is a synthetic progesterone and it would actually help if I was pregnant because you need high levels of it in early pregnancy. I had to take some last summer when I was pregnant, so that made me feel a little better. I don't know how I feel about everything right now. I am confused and frustrated.... I guess we will see what the test looks like in the morning. Or I may wait until Sunday to test... Not sure yet.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July!!! :)
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