Sunday, January 15, 2012

Updating Post

I have refused to post for a while because I honestly have nothing positive to post... But here is an update on what all is going on.

I haven't had AF since November, until she showed up today.  Yet another disappointing cycle...

We had a pretty good trip in South Carolina. Things were a little rocky when we came home... Currently we are taking things day by day.

I started a gym membership this past Friday. Hoping that working out will help with my fertility and maybe give us a boost. Plus I will be able to workout my frustrations and I will look better and feel better :-)

We have finally decided that we are going to do the IUI, just haven't decided when. I would rather do it this cycle, but he is saying we should wait until summer.

It's officially been three years since we started trying. I never thought I would be in this position... I'm trying to keep hope and be positive, but to be honest, I am having the feelings of giving up. It's almost to the point of I don't even want kids... My heart breaks.... I even get sick to my stomach thinking that I should be a mother by now. I'm frustrated, irate, hurt, depressed, indifferent, and calm depending on the day.

I wish people understood... I try talking to friends, and they just don't get it. They usually roll their eyes at me and change the subject... They don't understand the want and need I feel to be a mom. They don't understand how I feel only half a woman because I cannot conceive after trying for so long, when they only have to try for a month...

I need some reassurance... I need some inspiration... I need hope...


  1. Try to keep your head up.
    We have only been trying for 8 months now and I know that disappointing feeling all too well. I have been on medication for the past 6 months of this long process with no end in sight. I can only imagine the strength you have to continue this journey for as long as you have.
    I hope and pray you find renewed strength in this process. It's not easy and I know that. You are not the only one...
    Who's friends don't understand and equally don't seem to care.
    Who feels frustrated and wants to give up. Who fears the worst and hoped for the best every single day.

    As much as I know these are just random words from someone you don't know, understand you are not alone in how you feel in this journey.

  2. I agree with Jenna. You are not alone. There are so many of us struggling with the same issue. My husband and I have been trying now for 13 months and are right in the middle of our first round of Clomid.

    Today I helped paint my sister-in-law's nursery.... they weren't even trying to get pregnant.

    It's frustrated. The important thing is to try to find people who can relate. I had a good friend who was having trouble conceiving too... she is now 2 months pregnant. But she still is there to cheer me on each month.

    Don't give up hope. There are so many options out there to help with this journey. You will be a great mom.

  3. **hugs**

    we've been kinda forced to halt our ttc journey for a while - to start the thought of this was a killer, but i think it has helped in the long run as we were forced to take a step back and re-evaluate.

    i know you don't really know me, but if you want to talk (about anything) then just let me know...

    Take care, and stay strong ♥

  4. Please don't give up babe. I know how you feel, 10000%. I don't try to explain the feelings to anyone who asks because I fear they simply won't understand.

    Just remember that I'm here for you, you always have a friend to talk to, who will listen, who won't judge, and who will love you through all of this!! <3

  5. Thank you ladies. I truly appreciate it <3