Memorial Day

I would like to start by saying thank you to all the soliders that have served our country, some of whom have lost their lives. Thank you for fighting for our freedom!!!!!

Plans for the day: nothing this morning, family BBQ this afternoon, and then horseback riding this evening with friends!!! Its going to be an awesome day! I'm probably going to get burnt to a crisp like last year, but oh well, it will still be fun!!!

Still no AF... The girls were really sore last night; still are but not as bad. I dont know what to think besides trying not to get my hopes up by "knowing" that AF will be coming soon.

Well, thanks for reading and have a great day!!

Did I? Hahaha!

So I went to bed at about 10PM last night. Alex didn't get home until 3AM and I figured he would sleep in until 11AM because that would be a full night sleep for him. Well I ended up sleeping that long too!!! Thirteen hours of sleep!!! Ahhh, it feels amazing to finally catch up on some sleep. I know at some point that will all come to an end when we have a little one, but thats ok because i will be worth it!

Speaking of little ones, I had a bad headache last night and the ladies were sore (and still are this morning), plus I had a bit of cramping early this morning (at like 6AM) so I am thinking miss aunt flow will be visiting very soon! And even though I said I was going to wait to take a test, I took one yesterday morning and it was negative... If I dont have my period by June 7th, and I have not gotten a positive test, I am going to the doctor because something is wrong. But the goos news is, I dont have anymore tests in the house, so now I can MAKE myself not take any until June 6th! Tehehe :)

Thanks for reading!

So...Tired...

We helped my parents move today to a new house about thirty minutes away. At least it wasn't as hot as it has been, otherwise I think we would have all died of heat stroke! It wasn't too bad though. Dead tired now, so I will be going to bed soon! Alex wont be home until about 2AM because he is at a bachelor party. GAY! And they want me to go to the bachelorette party. No thanks, I would rather spend time with my hubby than go out and watch your dumb bitch friends get plastered, grind on some ugly ass sleaze bags, and puke all over. I'm just not into the party thing anymore, and neither is Alex. Yes, every once in a while we go to the Tavern (that one of his cousin's owns) and have a drink. But most of the time, we just go to get out of the house and talk with friends.  And I HATE bar-hopping bachelor/bachelorette parties. I will only go for people I really care about, and sorry, she is not one high up on that list... Ok, end of my rant...

Heading to bed now... Good night, and thank you for reading.

Yay, it's Friday!

So happy that Friday is here (even though its going to be a long day)!! Helping my parents move this weekend. That should be kinda fun... But at least its a long weekend with Memorial Day. So no work on Monday!!! And I have found out that I am going to be in the four year old room for most the summer (I believe, since I am in there all next week). So that is something to look forward too!!!

Still no monthly gift. I scared my brother last night! Bahaha!!! I made a poll just to see what people thought of the names that Alex and I have come up with and he was like, "Are you really due January 25th?!" I told him no of course, because I have had all negative tests. But if I am indeed pregnant, that WOULD be my actual due date. We shall see!!!

Ahhh, its going to be a great day!!!

Oh geez! Haha!

Another great day!!! Except the bout of nausea and bad stomach ache this afternoon. Probably coming down with another stomach bug from the kiddos! Anywhoo! Had an early day; was done at three thirty, so two hours earlier than normal. And then Alex calls me and says to be ready when he gets home. SO I have my shoes on and I am out the door when he pulls in the drive. We hop into my car and are off!! He tells me he found a moped for seven hundred dollars that he would really like to show me. I go along with it, thinking I will just talk him out of it after he looks at it. Well we get there and look at it, and Alex sells the whole "it will save gas" idea (which I know it will anyways) then the guy offers him a beer and me a soda. Ok, so an extra fifteen minutes... Well we talked and bullshitted with this guy; a very nice old man! We ended up being there for TWO HOURS!!!! Holy cow!!! And he talked me into letting him get the moped :P Hahaha... And he set up a plan with Woody, the very nice old man, and I guess we will be getting a moped soon! Hahaha!!! Goofy boy! Him and his toys, but that's why I love him!

Here is the picture of him playing around with it:

P.S. Still no sign of aunt flow...

I've Seen Better Days

Although I have to admit today was a great day!!!! The weather was a lot better and I worked with the four year olds today. It was a lot of fun! We took a big piece of paper (about 6' long and 4' wide) and taped it to the fence outside. Then we took spray bottles, set on a mist, and put water and food coloring in it for them to spray the paper with. They had an absolute blast!!!

Next week when we all come back after Memorial Day, they are going to be switching the kids up to the next group. So all my normal group of three and a half year olds (almost all four now) are going to be moving up the the 4K room, all the three year olds (now three and a half) are moving up to my normal room. So I am curious to see where they are going to have me at in the center because there are not as many three and a half year olds as there were with my now four year old group. I have been with this group since September, and I would love it if I was able to move up with them for the summer. Also, as soon as school gets out, there will be school aged children (all under 12) added to the mix. We are pushing ratio with the number of teachers we have now, so I think they may hire someone else. Especially since one of the teachers is going to be quiting soon. I guess I have to wait and see! Tomorrow the schedule will be up for next week, so I will know soon enough.

Thanks for reading!

This is Going to be the Death of Me!

Well, I have not yet gone to the doctor for my UTI. I called to see what our insurance will cover, and they don't pay for anything until we reach our $4k deductible! What the frig?! So I would have to pay $300 to get this UTI taken care of! GRRR!!! I fucking HATE insurance companies!!!! ESPECIALLY Anthem!!! We had GREAT insurance last year that we only had a $2500 deductible each. And we didn't have to pay all out of pocket. They covered portions of each thing that we had to file for, and then after we met the deductible, they paid for everything. But Alex's work went cheap this year and got the GAYEST INSURANCE EVER!!!

Not to mention, I STILL haven't gotten my monthly gift. Its really rather annoying!

A Little Disappointed

So I finally heard back from that girl last night. And she said that she was not looking to put her baby up for adoption. I am a little sad, but I knew starting out with that there was only a very slim chance she would go for it. Oh well I guess...

On another note, the weather is sickeningly humid and its going to be a HOT one today! I can stand the heat, but I don't like the humidity too!

I also found some Amoxicillin that I have had for a while that I am calling to see if it would be ok to take to treat the UTI if I think I might be pregnant. Well crap! I was on the line talking with her and she was getting my number and my stupid POS phone disconnected her! GAH! Now I have to hold again... Great, now she tells me that I should really just go get seen at Urgent Care. I guess I will be going after work then!

Thanks for reading!

Tired, Cranky, and Sick; Oh My!!!

Title explains it all today! I finally caught that stomach bug that Alex has had for a week. Not to mention that I have been REALLY tired all day today. And to top it all off, I am pretty sure that I have a UTI :( I haven't had one in almost two years! So its an extremely sad day for me.

As for yesterday's post; we still haven't heard back from her. We got her phone number from a relative, and Alex called and left her a message, but she has yet to call or even text us back. I'm guessing she is just going to ignore us.

On to later last night! We had a little fire in our fire pit and a few friends over. I was messing around with my camera and was able to get a few really cool pictures! I got an awesome close-up of the moon and then I was changing the shutter speed and ISO settings and got a cool picture of traffic going by the front of the house!

From left to right: our friend Thomas, Alex's cousin Luke, my darling Alex, and my "little sister" Elaina (I love her expression! bahahaha!!!) And yes, we use wheelchairs and office chairs as seats for our fires here at home and out at the farm!!! :D

Pretty moon!

Cars driving by! I set the shutter speed as slow as it would go and it was open for about a minute for this picture.

Hope you enjoy your day. And thank you for reading!!!

GAH!!!

So, I dont know if anyone remembers that I posted about finding out that this girl is pregnant that drinks and parties and what not. But Alex and I talked last night, and we are going to see if she would want to put the baby up for adoption! I sent her a message on facebook this morning to see if she would meet up with us sometime today, but she hasn't messaged me back... :( We weren't really friends in high school, so I guess I dont blame her for thinking that it was really weird of me to message her and want to meet up somewhere. I dont think she will go for it... But I know that we could provide a better life for her child than she could, especially with her wanting to go out and party. We talked for over a hour last night about all of this and we agree that it would be a really great thing to do if she would agree to it too.

Wish us luck and cross your fingers!!!!

Thankful for Rain

I know most people hate rain, and I normally don't like it either, but today I am happy that there was a little! My plants need it, the farmer's crops need it, and it was a nice way to cool down the town after having it be so hot the past couple days!!!

On another note, still no aunt flow.... I hate the weird dull annoying cramp things again for a little bit this morning... But just as I noticed them, I switched around how I was laying and they went away. I got a LOT of thinking done last night in bed. Some of it was really getting my hopes up about being pregnant. But I should have had a positive test by now if I was pregnant, right? Grr.... But I look at it this way, I didn't know I was pregnant last June until I took a test, and by that time I was seven weeks along. So who knows if it would have shown up sooner or not. And I didn't have any symptoms either. Again, it was an ectopic, so I don't really know what to look for in an actual pregnancy; plus things differ so much woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy.

I wish I could just have a clear way of knowing without having to go get a blood test done!

I am Thinking Too Hard!

I wonder if thinking could ever kill a person... Because I am thinking about the baby thing too much!!! I woke up this morning with weird dull, achy cramp like things, but no aunt flow yet... So I am positive she will arrive today sometime! Hope its before I go to work at least so I don't get a surprise while I am there! Hahaha... And poor Alex. He has been sick for a couple days with some type of stomach bug! And he had to be in at 5AM today! But he took a cool picture of his cement truck and sent it to me. I think its a really cool picture!

The Big Bad Bitch (as Alex lovingly calls her):

HOT HOT HOT!

Today is a beautiful day, but it is really hot! I like 70's but I think 80's is a bit much for May! Looking forward to riding my bike tonight. We are going to go probably after dark so its not as hot. I turned on the A/C for the first time since we have owned this house and its awesome! Only planning on running it some during the late afternoon, early evening. We can open the windows at night to cool it down in here. :)

I love being a home-owner! Its the little things, like painting, and fixing what needs to be fixed that makes life worth-while.
That's how I feel about being a mother. Yes I am excited to be pregnant and have a baby, but that's not the only thing. I can't wait to have all the symptoms (yes, that's right, ALL the symptoms), I can't wait for the sleepless nights, and all the other bad things that come along with parenthood. But its always the good things that make every little bad part blow away in a breeze. For the women out there that think their child is a burden, then why did you become a mother anyways?! And I am not saying to get an abortion, I am saying give you child up for adoption to someone who WANTS all the good AND bad days! I would give up everything to just be able to feel morning sickness, to have the aches and pains of being pregnant; because I know its all worth it in the end!!! I can't wait for every single stage in our child's life. Learning to crawl, walking, terrible two's, learning to talk and their ABC's, writing, being sassy, first day of school.... EVERYTHING!!!!
And that's why I think we have been made to wait... So we APPRECIATE every little thing of our miracle; our child <3

Sweetness!!!

I got a new bike! Super excited about it!!!!!!

There is the picture. The picture is not the greatest, but oh well! I'm still excited about having anew bike and getting to ride it soon!!!!

Hope- What Keeps me Going

Well, no sign of my monthly gift yet. But I took a test this morning and it was negative, so I am trying not to get my hopes up! But its so dang hard!!!

I have to get to work, but I will write again soon!

Thanks for reading :)

Beautiful Day!

Well, I'm glad that its Friday! And the weather is wonderful!!! Also looking forward to tomorrow. Mom and I are going to a huge community thrift sale and I am hoping we find some good deals!

Thanks for reading!

Really Sad!

Alex has decided that having three dogs is too many. So we have to find a new home for our little Chihuahua, Chester. I am SO sad!!! And I don't want him to go to just any home, I want him to be able to have a nice home where I know he will be loved and taken good care of!

:(

I don't want to send him away!!!

Wednesday Again

I know its a little late... My best friend sent this to me for Mothers Day. She was the only one that said Happy Mothers Day to me. So I wanted to pass it on to all the other ladies who have also lost their babies:

A Mother's Day Wish From Heaven
Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear. A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card. A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought, I saw every card you could imagine. Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside. I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she's cried.
I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know. That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too, Memories are our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight. She writes poems to honour me, sometimes far into the night.
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells. She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth I must find a way to remind her of her wondrous worth.
She needs to be honoured, and remembered too Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you'll do your best I have done all I can do; to you I'll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.


I cried so hard when I read the message she sent me along with this poem. It made me so happy to know that someone cared and remembered me too :)

Amazing Day :)

I had the best day at work EVER! I got to work in the infant room today; ALL day! I've worked in there before, but only a hour or two at a time. I really wish I could get full time in there!!!

Although I had a great day, it was ruined a little while ago when I found out someone I graduated with is pregnant. Another one of the people who I thought I would definitely have a baby before them! Grrr..... Its just so damn frustrating!!!! I can't get over the fact that all the worst people I know are able to get pregnant so easy and its SOOO hard for us!

Its gotten to the point that I am literally depressed. I probably need to see someone about it, but I don't want to. Shrinks don't help. I just feel like I should maybe start drinking a shit ton and smoking all the time and doing drugs, maybe that will help me get pregnant since it obviously works for other people! HMPH!!!!!

Really?! *sigh*

SOOO not looking forward to Wednesday! I have to work with my least favorite person in the world. Grrr... Just shoot me now.

Oh and not to mention, I found out that two more people I know are pregnant. One I am ok with, but the other I am just plain pissed! So my week has not had a great start. Oh well, there is always tomorrow!

Thanks for reading!

Happy Mother's Day

This is a wonderful holiday to celebrate.

But for me, its a little bitter-sweet... I should be a mother by now... I would have been a mother by now... I will never forget my little baby that I lost at 8 weeks. This day is for you sweet baby. Mommy and daddy love you and although we never got to meet you, we will be together again someday!

Insert Catchy Title Here

I got nothin' today! But I did get really cool pictures last night of the snow!

Here are a few of them :)

Otherwise nothing much else is going on. Helping my parents pack some of their things. We are helping them move Memorial Day weekend.

Its Too Cold for May!

I can't believe the weather lately! Its 46F right now and its supposed to get colder! Its so sad! I have been looking forward to nice weather and being able to take pictures for my photography portfolio, but with this weather its a drag going out and trying to get good pictures. Ah well, soon enough!!!

We have my mother-in-law's birthday party tonight. Can't wait for that! I'm not feeling the greatest, but I think we will still have a fun time!

That's all for now and thanks for reading!

Almost the Weekend

TGIF!
No, SHIT!
Huh?
Sorry Honey Its Thursday. Hahahaha!!!

Yeah, I am loosing my mind, lol. Its been that kind of week. Just happy that tomorrow is Friday!!!

Hump Day

I know "hump day" means the middle of the week, you are almost over the hump, etc, but come on, you can't tell me that you don't think dirty every time someone says it!

Ok, ok... Hahaha. I had my fun for the morning :)

Had a two hour work meeting on Monday, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Just going over new licensing and rules and regulations for work. I thought it was going o be two hours of her bitching at us for how poorly of a job we are doing with something... *sigh* No matter how hard we work, we always get bitched at for one thing or another. Also got my course book last week and started it Monday. Its going ok,but I have to write so many paragraphs, you'd think I was writing a book! Plus I have to interview people and a whole ton of other stuff! When did taking care of children become so complicated! Our parents and grandparents survived with time-outs and spanking; hell, I was spanked! I just can't believe that spanking and time-outs are basically considered abuse now days. And the government wonders why the society is going to hell, its because of spoiled brats that run all over their parents and get away with it; and its all the GOVERNMENT'S fault!!!

Anywhoo..... I took another test yesterday, still negative...

Thanks for reading! Have a great hump day ;)

"Lazy" Sunday

Today wasn't a lazy day at all! Quite the opposite actually :) We got up early to go our garage sale-ing to look for a push-mower for the yard. Well a friend of ours called and needed help starting her car, so we went to help her and got it going. On the way back to look for sales, we decided to stop into Menard's (like Lowes and Home Depot) to get a few seeds for the garden. Well we went in to spend $5 and came out and ended up spending $180!!! But we now have a beautiful yard to show for it!!! We didn't end up going saling afterwards, but it was all worth it. We bought some plants for the house out front and some solar lights for the front walk. It looks so much different and more... homey!

This is before we did any work:

This is after we did the work: :)

Busy Day!

Yesterday was a great day, after I got done with work that is. Hahahaha :) Came home and paid some bills then my little sister (she really isn't my sister, but I have known her for so long and she is my best friend, we just refer to each other as sisters) came over and the three of us went for a really long walk. It was a lot of fun being with Alex and her and walking on the bike trail in town here. And we got home just in time because a big storm was rolling through! Last night in the middle of the night the worst of it was going through and Alex and I pulled the love seat up to the front windows and just sat and watched the storm. So intimate and romantic!

Well we have a busy day today! At 9AM we are going to FINALLY sign on the car loan!!! This whole thing started in the beginning of February! I needed a new car, so we found one we liked, sold my old one, and signed the loan. All fine and dandy, right? Not so much! The car we signed a loan for had a transmission put into it before we bought it. Then after we had it about two days, there was a funny vibration and we had it looked at and the senior tech at the dealership said that it was the motor mounts and they would order the parts and put them in and it would be no problem. So the next Monday we had an appointment to get the parts put in. They looked over the car again and then said it was the transmission, not the motor mounts! BOGUS! So we had to get a rental from them, and it took them four days to find a transmission to put into it, and it was coming from Indiana. So another week goes by and they finally put the other transmission in and this is right before we go on a trip to South Carolina to visit my dad. Well Alex went to pick up the car and it was doing the same thing and the tech looked over it and sure enough, that tranny was bad too!!! What the hell! So they gave us a 2010 Ford Fusion to drive down to South Carolina and we were happy and they were ordering another tranny to put in. We got back from South Carolina, went to exchange cars, and the new transmission they just put in was doing the same thing. So we told them we don't want the car anymore. That was March 24th. So they were helping find us a new car and we went back and forth and tried to get approved for several different ones, well each time it was pinging our credit. So we finally found one we liked and were for sure going to get, applied for a loan on it and got approved for $273 a month, all we needed were two of Alex's recent paycheck stubs. Well he works concrete, so he is laid off in the winter and hadn't started back yet, but he had worked the beginning of April for two weeks for a company his dad works for. So we took those paycheck stubs in and instead of putting it towards the application that we already had, she REAPPLIED so then it pinged our credit again! Well, we got approved, but at $301 a month! So our interest rate went up and then she told me that we STILL needed a damn paycheck stub from his usual work! So all that was for NOTHING!!!!! Now we have a higher monthly payment because some stupid people can't do things right and they wont take it back either! >[ Its so frustrating! And I can't wait to just sign the papers and get it over with! Oh, and by the way, we were still supposed to be making payments on the other car that we lemoned out and don't even HAVE! That system is screwed up!

Anyways, I must be getting ready so we can go sign that loan and get on with things! Going to be a busy day! Have a birthday party to go to, a wedding, a party at the bar Alex's cousin owns, and we have my work party that consists of bar hopping! Fun day! Hope I don't have a hangover tomorrow!!!

Thanks for reading!

P.S. I took another test this morning; negative. So its definitely safe to say that I really don't think I am pregnant!